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Binding: Hardcover
Dewey Decimal Number: 158.2
EAN: 9780767924450
ISBN: 0767924452
Label: Broadway
Manufacturer: Broadway
Number Of Items: 1
Number Of Pages: 288
Publication Date: May 01, 2007
Publisher: Broadway
Release Date: May 01, 2007
Sales Rank: 47900
Studio: Broadway
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Product Description:
Are You Being Gaslighted?
Check for these telltale signs:
1. You constantly second-guess yourself.
2. You wonder, “Am I being too sensitive?” a dozen times a day.
3. You wonder frequently if you are a “good enough” girlfriend/wife/employee/friend/daughter.
4. You have trouble making simple decisions.
5. You think twice before bringing up innocent topics of conversation.
6. You frequently make excuses for your partner’s behavior to friends and family.
7. Before your partner comes home from work, you run through a checklist in your head to anticipate anything you might have done wrong that day.
8. You buy clothes for yourself, furnishings for your apartment, or other personal purchases thinking about what your partner would like instead of what would make you feel great.
9. You actually start to enjoy the constant criticism, because you think, “What doesn’t kill me will make me stronger.”
10. You start speaking to your husband through his secretary so you don’t have to tell him things you’re afraid might upset him.
11. You start lying to avoid the put-downs and reality twists.
12. You feel as though you can’t do anything right.
13. You frequently wonder if you’re good enough for your lover.
14. Your kids start trying to protect you from being humiliated by your partner.
15. You feel hopeless and joyless.
Your husband crosses the line in his flirtations with another woman at a dinner party. When you confront him, he asks you to stop being insecure and controlling. After a long argument, you apologize for giving him a hard time.
Your boss backed you on a project when you met privately in his office, and you went full steam ahead. But at a large gathering of staff—including yours—he suddenly changes his tune and publicly criticizes your poor judgment. When you tell him your concerns for how this will affect your authority, he tells you that the project was ill-conceived and you’ll have to be more careful in the future. You begin to question your competence.
Your mother belittles your clothes, your job, your friends, and your boyfriend. But instead of fighting back as your friends encourage you to do, you tell them that your mother is often right and that a mature person should be able to take a little criticism.
If you think things like this can’t happen to you, think again. Gaslighting is when someone wants you to do what you know you shouldn’t and to believe the unbelieveable. It can happen to you and it probably already has.
How do we know? If you consider answering “yes” to even one of the following questions, you’ve probably been gaslighted:
Does your opinion of yourself change according to approval or disapproval from your spouse?
When your boss praises you, do you feel as if you could conquer the world?
Do you dread having small things go wrong at home—buying the wrong brand of toothpaste, not having dinner ready on time, a mistaken appointment written on the calendar?
Gaslighting is an insidious form of emotional abuse and manipulation that is difficult to recognize and even harder to break free from. That’s because it plays into one of our worst fears—of being abandoned—and many of our deepest needs: to be understood, appreciated, and loved. In this groundbreaking guide, the prominent therapist Dr. Robin Stern shows how the Gaslight Effect works and tells you how to:
Turn up your Gaslight Radar, so you know when a relationship is headed for trouble
Determine whether you are enabling a gaslighter
Recognize the Three Stages of Gaslighting: Disbelief, Defense, and Depression
Refuse to be gaslighted by using the Five Rules for Turning Off the Gas
Develop your own “Gaslight Barometer” so you can decide which relationships can be saved—and which you have to walk away from
Learn how to Gasproof Your Life so that you’ll never again choose another gaslighting relationship
Average Rating: 
Rating:  -
I was looking for an answer to control dramas due to previous readings of the celestine prophecy, but I find that the book Games People Play by Eric Berne is a much better review of the ways people control each other.
still good though
Rating:  -
The most useful part of this book is that it explains what makes gaslighting possible. The only thing the victim can control is her/his need for approval. How to go about achieving that is thin, although understandably so since it's another huge topic altogether: self-esteem. This book is invaluable, however, in pointing out the driving needs of both parties.
Rating: -
I stumbled across a copy of this book at my local library. After reading the back cover, I knew I had to check it out. I've learned not to get too excited about self-help books. They (with rare exceptions) don't live up to my expectations. However, I was pleasantly surprised by this book. It actually exceeded my expectations.
I have had a very turbulent relationship with my mom for many years. There have been many times when I second guess myself. I don't trust my own feelings, or my ... Read More
Rating:  -
I really found this a very informative, interesting easy reading book, I was impressed and glad I brought this book and will read it over and over.
Rating:  -
Sometimes when I read these books that do such a marvelous job of describing the interactions with abusive people and then try to give readers a 'clue' about how to continue contact with them, I get concerned.
I think the biggest destructive message you get when you are gaslighted is that somehow the victim can change the behavior of the abuser by changing the victim's behavior.
In other words - the victim, by her behavior is causing herself to be gaslighted.
This ... Read More
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