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Binding: Paperback
Dewey Decimal Number: 306.81
EAN: 9780609805794
ISBN: 0609805797
Label: Three Rivers Press
Manufacturer: Three Rivers Press
Number Of Items: 1
Number Of Pages: 288
Publication Date: May 16, 1999
Publisher: Three Rivers Press
Release Date: May 16, 2000
Sales Rank: 617
Studio: Three Rivers Press
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Editorial Review:
Product Description:
John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage by using rigorous scientific procedures to observe the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over many years. Here is the culmination of his life's work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Packed with practical questionnaires and exercises, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.
Amazon.com Review:
According to most relationship books, the key to a solid marriage is communication, communication, communication. Phooey, says John Gottman, Ph.D., author of the much-lauded Why Marriages Succeed or Fail. There's much more to a solid, 'emotionally intelligent' marriage than sharing every feeling and thought, he points out--though most couples therapists ineffectively (and expensively) harp on these concepts.
Gottman, the director of the Gottman Institute, has found through studying hundreds of couples in his 'love lab' that it only takes five minutes for him to predict--with 91 percent accuracy--which couples will eventually divorce. He shares the four not-so-obvious signs of a troubled relationship that he looks for, using sometimes amusing passages from his sessions with married couples. (One standout is Rory, the pediatrician who didn't know the name of the family dog because he spent so much time at work.)
Gottman debunks many myths about divorce (primary among them that affairs are at the root of most splits). He also reveals surprising facts about couples who stay together. They do engage in screaming matches. And they certainly don't resolve every problem. 'Take Allan and Betty,' he writes. 'When Allan gets annoyed at Betty, he turns on ESPN. When Betty is upset with him, she heads for the mall. Then they regroup and go on as if nothing's happened. Never in forty-five years of marriage have they sat down to have a 'dialogue' about their relationship.' While this may sound like a couple in trouble, Gottman found that they pass the love-lab tests and say honestly that 'they are both very satisfied with their relationship and they love each other deeply.'
Through a series of in-depth quizzes, checklists, and exercises, similar to the ones he uses in his workshops, Gottman provides the framework for coping with differences and strengthening your marriage. His profiles of troubled couples rescued from the brink of divorce (including that of Rory, the out-of-touch doctor) and those of still-happy couples who reinvigorate their relationships are equally enlightening. --Erica Jorgensen
Average Rating: 
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I am a therapist and was seeking books to offer to clients dealing with marital issues and bought this work to review myself. I found it easy to read with sound research based advice. I will recommend this book to future clients.
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What a great marriage refresher. I enjoy going to dinner with my husband and taking the quizzes. Gottman's seven principles are a true wake-up call to stop taking your marriage for granted. This is a great book for couples who are dating and considering marriage.
Kimberley Clayton Blaine, MA, MFT
[...]
Author, Mommy Confidence
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It's an excellent book that helps relationships to leanr more about each other, manage their differences and accept each other, have fun together and have the tools to manage challenges when married! It's great even better before marriage!
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"Seven Principles" really helped me and my husband Joe get through a very rough time in our marraige last year. Joe and I had gone through our ups and downs before, but we hit a really rough spot. We went to our friends, and they all told us different things. None of them gave the same ideas (principles, haha) as this book did. I had heard of Nan Silver before, having read her book "Rules for Parents." It was definitely THE best parenting book I have ever read. Anyway, back to the point, Joe and ... Read More
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This is an excellent book full of interesting information and useful exercises. If you or your counseling clients want to make marriage work, this could really help. I bought the Kindle version, though, and now I have no access to the exercises.
I borrowed the book from the library and made some copies of the exercises. There are so many good ones, this turned out to be a lot of time and money spent that I wouldn't have if only I had bought the book in the first place.
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